Eating. I'm really good at it guys.
Singing "figgaro, fiaggaro, fiiiiigaaarrrooooooOOOOO" in our parking garage, because it echos & sounds even more expert-tess.
Candy Crush, Crazy Kitchen, Hamburger Joint, Temple Run, Blocks, basically most puzzle (?) phone type games, I master. It's actually quite lame because I finish the game and then there is nothing left for me to do. Or I reach the last level they have created and stare at the little grey wrench, meaning they're working on more levels, that never goes away, because actually they're not working on more levels. Sigh.
Flipping my phone in the air, letting it do a few 360's and catching it exactly as I threw it, like a boom-a-rang. I think it's impressive.
Picking my split ends. Didn't think you could be an expert in this, huh? Oh, you can. You can.
Quoting or referencing to The Office.
Making piles of un-hung clothes on my closet shelf.
Not hanging clothes.
Sleeping. This is probably my best skill.
Diagnosing my own illnesses. What's that? You call that a hypochondriac? Interesting.
Not emailing/messaging/text messaging/calling people back. It's a real problem guys, but what can I say, I'm an expert at it.
Spending money on drinking coffee.
I'd continue but I don't want to sound too boastful, gotta stay humble, you know?
Please, oh please, tell me. What are you an expert at?