7.03.2013

To the Window, to the Wall, to the Sweat Drop Down my...

Terrible song. 
I know.
Is it terrible how easily it gets stuck in my head?
Hopefully it's not stuck in yours now, too. 
Thankfully, I only know that one line.
If you can't finish those lyrics,
I applaud you.
Keep your sweet mind pure. :) 

Well. 
Except that the rest of this post is mostly about balls.
Sorry about that.

As you read yesterday, we had a fantastically wonderful and restful time at the beach, 
drinking our champagne, 
and enjoying our treats. 

After our beach picnic, 
I had another surprise for Zachary.

A couples bath and massage at the new Hyatt! 
That just so happened to be conveniently on the beach we sat on. :) 
Well planned. Well planned, Heather. 
Photos of Hyatt Regency Qingdao, Qingdao
This photo of Hyatt Regency Qingdao is courtesy of TripAdvisor

So, we walked our way up to the beautiful Hyatt
& into our private massage room. 
Which was, fabulous. 
Dim lights, HUGE salt water bath tub, his and her sinks,
his and her foot baths, massage shower, large plush towels and robes. 
Speeeccctaccular. 
Everything was wonderful.
Aesthetically pleasing to the tee. 
First, we had our super relaxing bath. 
Baths are VERY luxurious for us in China, 
since most people don't have a bath tub.
The lady told me that most people take 15 to 30 minute baths, so we needed to arrive early. 
We took a full hour! 
We love us some bath time!

After our nice bath, we dried off with our plush towels and put on our,
um.. massage outfits. 
His and Hers panties. Gauze panties to be exact. 

I squeezed into my Asian spa panties, 
and Zachary shimmied his up his legs, 
and found that well, 
they weren't actually made for the,
um...
let's say, 
the well endowed.

But, tiny panties, no big deal! 
We'd be under a blanket anyways!

So, our massages started.
And they were heavenly.
An hour in they had us turn over,
for the head, stomach and leg massages.
To  have better access to our legs, they had to move the blanket to the side a little, of course.
I watched Zachary's girl do that,
then quickly whip the blanket back to it's original place.
I'm that awkward girl with her eyes open, trying not to make eye contact with the masseuse. 

Then, both of our massage therapists started laughing and couldn't stop.
They were trying so desperately to hide it but to no avail.
They had their heads in their shoulders, were turning away, doing everything to hide their laughter.
But creepy, open eye Heather saw.

We discovered later after the girls left the room,
and Z took the blanket off,
 the cause of all their laughter,
was a great big {no pun intended} shot, 
of Z's left testicle bulging out of his itsy, bitsy spa panties.

Hahaha.
Awesome. I know.
 It's probably already the talk of the break room massaging two foreigners,
but then, to get a ball shot!
We know what they'll be talking about for weeks, eh?
Shame! It was probably so embarrassing for them.

Luckily, my man's a confident man,
and didn't feel embarrassed. 
You know, these things are more of a compliment to men. ;) 

But we could still NOT stop laughing and giggling when we figured it out after they left. 
And let's just say we have a lot more ball jokes in our house as of late!

4 comments :

Ruthie Hart said...

This sounds heavenly! What an awesome and relaxing surprise for Z.... I am cracking up at those spa panties!!

Shio Waline said...

Oh my goodness, lol! When I saw your post title I had to read and see what this post was about! :D I for one have shamed my ears because I TOTALLY rocked that song when I was younger, lol! But your story was too funny, thanks for sharing!

xo,
Shio

chalayn said...

Oh my... hahahaha! :)

Sounds like you ALL had an unforgettable time.

Rachel said...

Those gauze panties are a LITTLE creepy, but what an awesome/relaxing experience!!

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