Snake Slaughter

Photo By Casey Kanode // Source

In my parents neighborhood snakes are kind of a big deal. When I say snakes, I mean rattle snakes really. And when I say a big deal I mean they're showing up everywhere and we hate them. Basically. 

They live in a fairly new development that's still being developed, so it's pushing all those crazy Texas rattlesnakes out of the brush and into people's garages. Yuck. 

My grandparents who live down the street have found 2 in their garage.

My grandma stepped over one of them to get to the outdoor fridge and when she turned back there it was, coiled up, ready to strike. 

So anyways, the other night after a late night rendezvous to the ER, we were driving back to the house, about to turn onto our street when our head lights reflected off a 3 1/2 foot rattle snake. 3 1/2 feet. Give or take. Which doesn't sound very big but it's roughly the length of a 5 year old. Give or take. I actually have no idea how long a 5 year old is. But in snake, it was long enough to provoke in us the desire to run that sucker over. Which does not happen when we see 5 year olds the same length. Just to make that clear. 

So we see the snake ahead and Jeff, my step dad, drives super fast, runs it over and slams on his brakes so as to really smoosh it. Mean while, all of us, seat belt less, (I know. I know.) almost flew through the wind shield. We basically almost died just to kill the snake. So anyways, Jeff quickly turns around and we all stick our heads out the window to get a good look at it and saw he had been half crushed but he was still moving. So we ran over him 2 more times. Then Zachary got out of the car to make sure it was actually a rattle snake (haha. Had he of been a garden snake we might have felt bad.). As he got closer, the snake, started moving again (crazy demon snake!! We ran over him 3x!!!!!!) and he started opening his mouth and lunging (with his head) at Zachary like he was going to bite him. We yelled for Zach to get back in the car quick and we ran it over a few more times. 

Then for good measure, with our Christian radio station playing in the back ground, (haha, my mom pointed that out at one point, "oh no! And we have Christian music playing!!" Ha! I'm not really sure what her point was because everyone knows rattle snakes are evil ;)  (and maggots! Gross. Also, not all snakes! Obviously Pronty is def not.))  Jeff parked on it and turned the steering wheel back and forth to really squish him good. I will admit that that part gave me the heeby jeebies. 

After that we drove around the block just to make sure there weren't anymore rattlers sneaking about because we were on a roll. It's funny how when you're looking for snakes EVERYTHING looks like one. We didn't find another but we still went home rejoicing in our super heroic act of rattle snake killing. I mean, they can kill you or your dog. So we were doing our neighborly duty really. 

And now, a direct message to the rattlesnakes of La Conterra neighborhood, if you come in front of our car again, we will squash you. So stay back. This is your only warning.

And that's the story of the snake slaughter. The end. 

So what do you think? Are we terrible for killing it? What would you have done? Let me know!! Comment below!