Words of Advice from our Chinese Momma

The other day I asked our sweet Chinese Momma, Jenny, to give people in America "advice" about traveling in China and asked if there was anything that she wanted American people to know about China. Her responses were so sweet and of course, her broken English, made it even sweeter. 
What do you want people in American to know about China or Chinese people?  Chinese people are kind to all the people, I think. Most Chinese people are kind. Chinese and Americans will be good friends.  I think in the future, the world, will be one world.  I want Americans to know that China has a long history and has so many wise people in its' history.  China has many very kind people.  Chinese people are good. --from little Justin, he couldn't resist giving his own ideas, too:) What are some street smart things you'd like people visiting China to remember or know?  Don't believe strange people in China. -- Justin Protect your wallet. If you are in a mark or tourist place, watch your wallet. Eat safe food. If you want to eat, go to a big restaurant, not a little one.  Eat special food in every place. Like in Qingdao eat seafood, in Wei fang eat meat bread, and so on. In China there are so many cars so you should look around when you walk.  And there you have it. Simple and sweet. 

Don't Look into the Mirror: Chinese Urban Legends

Today, I have another Chinese Urban Legend for you! Or rather The Red Star has another for you. Get ready, because combing your hair at midnight will never be the same for you again. ;)

picture base: via

"Here's another spooky one, picture this one ladies; it's late at night, you're brushing your hair in front of the mirror, because well face it-you're vain. And as you watch yourself stroke your hair, your mirror self smiles and jumps through the mirror into your mouth and begins to control you. This superistition is based upon another idea that if you comb your hair in front of the mirror at midnight a ghost will possess your body. If the mirror is in front of a window or door, the ghost will enter in through the reflection of the door in the mirror.
Another variation of this myth is that if you peel an apple in front of a mirror at night in one solid piece without breaking it, you can summon a ghost. When the ghost is summoned it will answer any questions you have, but there is usually a downside or something you have to do for it. If you don't do something for the ghost, then maybe it will haunt you forever or try to possess your body. Ghosts are serious loan sharks; you don't want to end up in the pocket of one." -The RedStar October, 2013 issue

People, really, don't peel your apple in front of the mirror at midnight, especially if you're an apple pealing pro. Really. Just don't! Ha! Who does that?! It must be a  common Chinese thing to do, peeling apples in the middle of the night. Also, all you Marsha Brady's out there, if you're going to brush you're hair in front of the mirror, please do it at 11:30, 11:45, 12:15, any time really, other than midnight. Actually, just to be safe, just stay away from mirrors, hair brushes/combs and apples all together. Better safe than sorry. ;)

Again, Abigail, said she grew up being told by her mother and friends to not stand in front of the mirror at midnight, especially not combing her hair.

Social Norms in China

Today, I'm going to share with you 5 social norms in China. Trust me there are a gazillion more I could write about, but we'll start with 5 today.

**Also, as a side note, please forgive the random font that pops up in those post. I have tried for the life of me to fix it and I just can't. This post insists on being font rebellious! It's infuriating. :) But anyways...***
1. So much noise! It is completely, 100% normal here in China, for people to turn their cell phone/computer volume up on high while playing a game or watching a show. No matter where they are. Currently, I'm sitting in Starbucks, which is peaceful and quiet. It resembles an American Starbucks in every way. Except for the guy sitting in the chairs across from me who is playing some kind of coin, gambling game, with the volume up allllll the way up. I have my head phones in and I can still hear it. Public transportation is a good place to view this phenomenon. There is always, always someone shouting to their friend through their speaker phone, playing a game, or carrying their phone around like its a boom box with the volume on high, for all to enjoy. Im quite certain that if they did this in the States they would get the finger. There's no rules about disturbing the peace here. 

2. More noise! Which brings me to my second point. It is totally normal and maybe even encouraged to pop fireworks and hire a drum line to play in the middle of a sleeping apartment complex at 6:00 am. 

3. Napping anywhere and everywhere. Yesterday, to add to our list of places we've seen people napping (i.e. one leg on their motor bike, head on the curb, stretched across an entire sidewalk, and so on)　Ｚａｃｈａｒｙ　ｓａｗ　ａ　ｇｕｙ　ｓｌｅｅｐｉｎｇ　ｏｎ　ａ　ｇｉａｎｔ　ｓｔｅｅｌ　ｃｏｉｌ．　Ｔｈａｔ＇ｓ　ｃｏｍｆｏｒｔａｂｌｅ．　

４．　Ｐｏｏｐｉｎｇ　ａｎｄ　ｐｅｅｉｎｇ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ．　Ｔｈｉｓ　ｉｓ　ｐｒｏｂａｂｌｙ　ｏｎｅ　ｏｆ　ｔｈｅ　ｍｏｓｔ　ｅｒｋｓｏｍｅ　ｏｆ　ｓｏｃｉａｌ　ｎｏｒｍｓ　ｈｅｒｅ．　Ｐｒｅｔｔｙ　ｍｕｃｈ　ｏｎ　ｔｈｅ　ｄａｉｌｙ　Ｉ see some taxi driver turning around from a tree, mid zip up, walking back to his car that he just pulled over in order to pee. Children pee (and sometimes poop)　ｅｖｅｒｙ　ｗｈｅｒｅ．　Ｔｈｅ　ａｗｋｗａｒｄ　ｐａｒｔ　ｉｓ　ｗｈｅｎ　ｔｈｅｙ　ｇｅｔ　ｕｐ　ｉｎ　ｔｈｅ　８＇ｓ　ａｎｄ　９＇ｓ　ａｎｄ　ａｒｅ　ｓｔｉｌｌ　ｄｏｉｎｇ　ｉｔ，　ｆｌａｓｈｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｇｏｏｄｓ　ｆｏｒ　ａｌｌ　ｔｏ　ｓｅｅ．　Ａｎｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｅｖｅｎ　ｍｏｒｅ　ａｗｋｗａｒｄ　ｐａｒｔ　ｉｓ　ｈｏｗ　ｔｈｅ　ｐａｒｅｎｔｓ，　ｇｒａｎｄｐａｒｅｎｔｓ，　ｗｈｏｍｅｖｅｒ，　ｈｏｌｄ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｉｄｓ　ｉｎ　ｏｒｄｅｒ　ｆｏｒ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｔｏ　ｐｅｅ．　Ｉｔ＇ｓ　ｒｅａｌｌｙ　ｓｔｒａｎｇｅ　ｇｕｙｓ．　Ｔｈｅｙ　ｐｕｔ　ｔｈｅ　ｋｉｄｓ　ｋｎｅｅｓ　ｔｏ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｃｈｅｓｔ，　ａｎｄ　ｈｏｌｄ　ｔｈｅｍ　ｕｐ　ｂｙ　ｈｏｌｄｉｎｇ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｋｎｅｅｓ，　ｓｏ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　ｉｎ　ａ　ｗｅｉｒｄ　ｈｏｖｅｒｉｎｇ　ｓｑｕａｔ　ｐｏｓｉｔｉｏｎ，　ｗｉｔｈ　ｔｈｅｉｒ　＂ｂｉｒｄｓａｎｄｂｅｅｓ＂facing out instead of down. Ｉdont know if that makes any sense. I would show you a picture, but well, I think that would be illegal, and my conscious really can't bear to take that pic. It's weird people. Real weird.

(please help! I have no idea why the above font is like that! And I can't change it!)

5. Burping and farting. These are just everyday, no big deal occurrences. Today, I was at a women's conference and the Chinese women next to me let out a huge belch, and nobody even flinched. This week one of my students let out a huge fart, 3 times in a row. And like the rumbling kind. Like thunder. And no one said anything .He didn't called fart monster or smelly pants or anything terrible that he'd be called in the States. No body even laughed. I chuckled, until I looked around and saw that no one else was, and realized that I was more immature than my entire class of 7 year olds.

Creepy Kids: Chinese Urban Legends

 

base picture: via

In lieu of Halloween month, how about some Chinese Urban Legends, shall we?

Our local Expat magazine, The Red Star, featured an article that featured some Chinese Ghost stories/legends, so really, it would be much easier to just let them share the first with you. :)

base picture: via

"According to traditional Chinese superstition, if a child gets extremely frightened or experiences some type of heavy trauma then his or her soul will leave the body. So if a young child is endlessly crying without any reason it probably got scared soul-less. The tradition of ridding the child of this unknown ailment is to take one article of clothing the child has worn that day to the nearest intersection and waving it about while calling out the child's nickname commanding it to return home. For example, 'Come back home baby, come home to mama and daddy.' Next, go home and lay this article of clothing over the child's sleeping body and rub his or her earlobes. The crying and feeling of emptiness your child is suffering from should clear right up as it lays there confused about what got into their parents."-The RedStar October, 2013 Issue

Our close Chinese friend, Abigail, is from a village in China, and she said this sight is so common for her. She has often heard people doing this and seen parents on the side of the road waving their kids clothing.

My goodness, poor children!! Can you imagine the amount of counseling they will need later in life for the major trauma they experienced that scared them "soul-less "?! Not to mention the fact that they were told that they were soulless and  from waking up in the middle of the night to their parents rubbing their earlobes, rejoicing that their soul was back?! Major issues people, major.

I'm not gonna lie though, part of me really wished I had seen this before, in order to take a picture and show you of course. But of course, for the sake of the child, am delighted I haven't! 

A Chinese Boy Band Cut My Hair

So, last week, our air conditioner went out. It was a beautiful, wonderful, sacred time in our house in our hot as Haiti apartment. Actually, hotter than Haiti, 'cause I've been there. Just saying.

Anyways, it was hecka hot and one of my very least favorite things to do in the hecka heat, is to shower and then get ready, while my wet hair is dripping down my back, and my drying off with a towel is futile because sweat quickly replaces my shower water. It's a recipe for a panic attack/heat stroke in my life. So naturally, I decided to go to a salon and pay someone to wash my hair for me, hence avoiding all the panic attacks/heat strokes. Naturally.

So, I went to get my hair washed and if you've ever been to China, you may have heard about the fantastic hair washes they give. I've heard foreigners rave about them & how head, massagey good it is. I was pretty psyched.

I get there, to a room full of smoking, skinny jeaned boys, okay, young men, with their hair all whipped to the side, ready for my head massage/shampoo. It looked like a salon full of Chinese boy bands.

"So you wanna a head rub? How 'bout a trim gurrl?" 

I go back to the sink and ask for a brush to brush out my 2 foot, curly, non-showered, tangled hair. I always do this first for hair stylists. They always seem quite overwhelmed by it & terrified to, God-forbid, break a hair. I just like to help them out, prevent the horror. My skinny jeaned stylist brings me something that looks like this.

Except worse. Because it was round, and the hair was all stuck in there, and there wasn't some pretty lady with long black hair holding it, then you would have at least known where the hair was coming from. No, this brush's hair collection, was probably from days or weeks of several different heads.

So, like the brave, when-in-rome, expat I am, I used it. I know! Sick right?! But I mean, I was about to get my hair shampooed, so it's cool. Right?! {It's been a week and my head's not itching... so either these babies are about to hatch, or I'm in the clear! ;) }

So after I brush out my goodness of a rats nest, with everyone else's hair brush, we began the shampoo.
Which was.... uneventful and not all what everyone talked it up to be. Maybe I got the wrong kind of shampoo. I don't know.

I then, somehow, brilliantly decided it would be a great idea to get my hair trimmed for the first time in a year and a half, at this highly sterile, professional salon.

I told them very carefully, with my fingers of course, that I wanted half an inch trimmed. Not layered. Straight across. Only a half inch. I even put it in my cell phone translator. My guy seemed very aware of what I wanted and affirmed me several times that he knew.

Oh. Smiley girl. You have no idea. 

He started to cut.

In Chinese & lots of hand motions-
Me: Again, I only want half an inch.
Overly enthused stylist: I know! I know! Trust me! I know!
...keeps cutting

Me: I don't want layers because my hair is curly. It doesn't work. You can't do it.
Him: I know! Okay! I know.

Then the guy standing next to him hands me his cell phone which has translated in it,
"He wants give you hair heiarchy." Heiarchy? What the? Layers!? He means layers!

Me: I don't want layers! My hair is curly. You can't. I don't want. {in broken Chinese}
Him: No! No! No! (to the other guy) I know! I know! (to me)

I was feeling pretty good at this point. Like, ya. This guy, he's got me.
Until he got to the front of my hair and I noticed a good 5 inch difference between the back, which he had cut, and my front, where he showed me very dramatically that he couldn't get the brush through the last 5 inches of my hair.

Me: I know! I don't care. I only want half an inch.
(I was still holding out. Thinking maybe, just maybe, I was mistaken about the back being so short.)

Him: I know! I know! Half an inch! I know!

Turns out, he didn't know! Or did. but could care less what I said. He cut off a good 5 inches.

Reader Note: Please don't say how it's not that short or you don't notice a difference and completely devoid my story. ;) I will however except Looks amazing! Wow! Stunning! Anything that boosts my hair ego and ends in an explanation mark. ;)

The best part was after, when he got to blow dry my hair. He was super excited and used a contraption on the hair dryer he probably never gets to use, because my hair is curly. He dramitacally blow dryed the back, moving his hands all around like a composer, and then the front. And then with the front almost dry, he gave a huge, hands in the air, "wa la!." He was super proud of himself.

I couldn't bare bursting his ego. It was like a child, really. And I'm just not that mean. Even though he chopped my hair off and didn't listen to me. {My hair feels way healthier now! I'll give that little hair composer that.}

Alas, I've traded in my long, hippie locks for a short, cute, somewhat longer than a bob look. Okay. It's longer than a bob but it literally feels as short as a bob to me. That's all.

Moral of the story. Don't get your hair cut in China.
The End.